Monday, June 18, 2012

Discovering Happiness

Me opening my eyes but its not late , jumped out of the bed ran to water boiler switched it on , and huge noise was out calling “ hey stupid I am empty” I added water I was hungry I don’t know why I opened the fridge got  out the plate of salad ate some and said “ you got to be kidding , when will you stop being on diet” with me saying to my self “ Shut the fuck up, till you fucken lose weight ” , Its always 2 voices talking inside of me the lazy , not motivated and the hyperactive crazy , enthusiastic voice .
Took my morning bath , and again there is no hot water , no one in the home to fix it but me and my little dogs , I was thinking how life and God was so fair with me lately ; because simply I am looking at things from different scope , lately I was so angry , I hate my self , I hated a lot of people who did me no good , but you know what  I discovered that i am wrong ,

I shouldn’t be angry because it doesn’t worth it, I discovered that I am really nice person and I should be love the way I am because I been seeing me alone out talking to my self, being sarcastic and nice to my self and for those people who made me no good, actually they made me realize how I am better off without them and they made me re-evaluate my self frankly.

Lately I am so happy because I got back to an old friend who I really loved in my childhood, we use to play a lot, swim all day, jump in to the pool for hours and hours, we use to take moon tan we thought when we was young that “since sun makes your skin darker, moon makes us lighter “and we use to lay back with eyes closed taking moon tan .. using each other soap, towels, sand forks ,shampoo , rid bicycles , playing on the sand , building castles , GOOD OLD DAYS when the biggest problem back then was not be able to watch our favorite kids movie ..

The girl is so nice, we laugh a lot, we talk a lot we fight a lot over those small things and we agree and disagree , but we are never mad from one another, she is a little bit crazy and naïve in a lot of things but she grew old to be strong, bold and crazy and that what I love about her , even we stopped seeing each other for years;  promptly we was back on track , singing loudly in the car, driving madly on high ways , hearing house music day dreaming with beats , acting as we don’t give a fuck about any thing , I hate her when she closes her mind for options and just stop thinking , and when  her voice is very loud when she is fighting on the phone .. But I love her and I accept her the way she is, I won‘t try to change her.
I really don’t understand a lot of things happening and I don’t understand timing , she was back in my life in a time I was so not me in it , and then things happened not good in her life and I am there for her and she is there for me  , I don’t understand if that’s destiny or ones choice .. People who I though that life will never take from me are the people who is not their any more and the people who I though will never be in my life any more are the ones who in it now... Weird, common sense is very uncommon.
Lately I learnt a lot; I noticed that the true power is grounded by spiritual awareness. It comes from trusting your inner wisdom standing your ground and speaking the truth,
I have discovered that happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried, those who only appreciate the importance of people who touched their life.

I am now fully convinced that until you’re ready to look foolish, you’ll never have the possibility of being great.
Also lately I was dissatisfied with my job , looking only on negative thoughts till yesterday I was reading an article about women who made a huge success in business , if you don’t know Van Wang she is the world best wedding dress designer you can’t look bad in any of there amazing work of art . She said in the report “Don’t be afraid to take time to learn, it’s good to work for other people, I worked for other people for 20 years, they paid me to learn”... She made me take a deep breath and say to my self “Honey!! Take it easy, what you want won’t come easily, it would take time and balls”.

Also I’m convinced that one of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend". We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older. The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young. We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age when a busy life and changing geographies can cause us to neglect those friends. Today is the day to invest in those people we hope will call us 'old friend" in the years to come..
 Don’t for het to put on a smile
Quote of the day

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